It’s been a while since you’ve made me angry. The anger gave way to hurt. The hurt gave way to emptiness. But today you made me mad. Because I needed you. I was angry that I needed you. And angry that you weren’t there when I did. It should have been you. You, who picked … More Should Have Been
I saw your name on my phone. I closed my eyes and took a breath. It was going to hurt. No matter what the words, They would hurt. Nothing you do to me does not hurt. It’s pain. All of it. I willed myself to ignore it. But of course I couldn’t. I never could … More Our song
You picked me To watch me wither In full bloom with my face to the sun I weathered so much to get there And then you picked me Knowing full well what that meant for me A slow demise Just for your pleasure You watched my petals fall One by one He loves me He … More You picked me
I don’t feel right when I don’t write. The words that flow fill my emptiness. They need me and I need them. You were poison to my soul. And this is my detox. It’s a slow and tedious cleanse. But it has to be. It took a while to accumulate. Your venom. Like a slow … More Poison
Nothing feels the same. Nobody feels the same. There was something we had. Something unexplainable. And the last bit of it is stuck in my soul. Like a sliver. That I can’t quite get a hold of. And that pain is what is left. I find myself embracing it. Because without it I feel nothing. … More Nothing
I feel like I’m walking around waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even though it already has. With a very large thud. I’m longing for some peace. Some finality. Closure? But it is final. Done. Complete in its way. I don’t have unsaid words for you. There is nothing more I need from you. … More Waiting for the shoe to drop
I should have seen it coming. Ok, I did see it coming. From a million miles away. Red flags like a Republican parade. Right from the start. God, I was so stupid with you. There is no other word. The things I chose to ignore. The chances I gave you. To hurt me. Again and … More I take it back
I wonder if I’ll ever feel at home. If I’ll find some peace and settle in. Somewhere warm and inviting. Somewhere that I can stay. Where I belong. I wonder if I’ll find that place. No clock ticking. No last call. No last dance. No checkout time. Maybe take off my coat and stay a … More Home
I told our story today. From start to finish. Healing is a bitch. I wrote it down. And read it back. This chaotic tale of ours. Hearing it was startling. Was that really me? Who did I become? Submitting to so much pain. I let myself become a fool. And I need to know the … More The End
Fuck you. For all the things you did to me. And to us. Fuck you. For making love a monster. Something to fear. Fuck you. For setting me back a million years. So far I can’t even see the starting line. Fuck you. For giving up what we had. And what we could have had. … More Fuck you
Alice Wonders Out Loud 